Today in New Hampshire, presidential candidate and dental hygiene advocate, Vermin Supreme, sparred with Ted Cruz over many important issues. In one question, Vermin pondered, “Cruz, do you agree that the waterboarding water should be fluorinated? Shouldn’t we at least fluorinate the fluoride that we use to waterboard the bad people with?”
While this question is extremely important, and I would love to know Cruz’s stance on the issue, Cruz never directly commented on his opinions about the need to keep up the dental hygiene of those we waterboard. Henceforth, Vermin Supreme, the zombie apocalypse aficionado went on to harass Ted Cruz by blaring through a megaphone, “Cruz, we have you surrounded, you must surrender immediately.” He then went on to interrogate Cruz’s patriotism by asking, “Why do you hate America?”
When Cruz refused to respond to the idiotic remarks of his fellow lunatic candidate,
Donald Trump, Vermin Supreme, the giant toothbrush wielding boot wizard stalked Cruz until Cruz reached the inside of his campaign bus.
Once Cruz had left, Vermin made his presidential pitch. While his pitch also included more interrogation about Cruz’s stances on important issues such as mandatory toothbrush laws and free ponies, Vermin took time to grant a “generic well wishing that we do not get into any wars, and the war that we do get into will be against Narnia.”
The footage of this important exchange was caught on camera and posted by IJ politics editor, @JGreenDC. The full footage can be seen below.