Sandwich Making Doesn’t Equate Enabling

I recently read an article by blogger Jill Simonian in which she explains why she refuses to make a sandwich for her husband.

In her post she argues the following:

Making a sandwich for a grown man who is fully capable of doing it himself is a gateway to enabling an attitude of ‘Oh, she’ll take care of that for me.’

While I understand the point she is trying to make I think she has been swayed by the faithful subjects of feminism.

In her blog post, Simonian reflects on her childhood and how her mother packed her father’s lunches every day. Simonian’s mother wasn’t the stay-at-home wife of the pre-feminist movement either. No, Simonian’s mother worked full-time as a teacher on top of raising a family.

Simonian even explains how she packed her own husbands lunches prior to the birth of her two girls. “Something’s gotta give, and for me it was packed lunches,” argues Simonian. While it is perfectly understandable that one has less time than prior to the birth of two children and that more than one something will likely get pushed to the back burner, let’s just think about Simonian’s logic here for a minute. Simonian begins her post by describing a scene where she and her daughters were sitting down eating sandwiches that she had made for them. So you already making sandwiches, how hard is it to make just one more while you are at it?

Now let us consider Simonian’s argument that making a sandwich for someone is perfectly capable of doing so on their own is enabling an attitude, of “Oh she always does that, I don’t have to worry about it.” Simonian also indicates a fear that her husband will lose his sandwich making abilities and somehow not be able to survive if she dies or something:

Not making a sandwich has everything to do with keeping everyone’s capabilities turned on and turned up. (Anyone watch “The Walking Dead”? It’s like, once you feel safe at a place like Alexandria and stop venturing out into the wild, you lose your ability to survive. I don’t want my husband to lose his ability to survive, you get me?)

Like Simonian and her mother before her, my mother packed my father many lunches to take to the office with him in their more than thirty years of marriage. Now, did she do this when my two older brothers who are two years apart where about the age of Simonian’s daughters now? Well I don’t know, but let us imagine that she didn’t. Regardless, whether it was leftovers from the previous night’s dinner, or a lunchmeat sandwich, my mother has been packing my dad lunch for as long as I can remember. Nonetheless, I can remember days where she would tell my dad he would have to get lunch out for one reason or another. Not only that, but my dad can make his own sandwich! Shocker! While I understand where Simonian is coming from, her argument just doesn’t hold up, and that is why I disagree with this silly sandwich making nonsense.



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